with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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