my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you will always have a special place in my vag
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
