Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Randomize
