You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
