mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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