Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
