I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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