The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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