is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
