Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this just has baby written all over it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
