I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
