On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
