his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
