Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it glows. i had to have it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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