I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
