Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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