just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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