I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
