Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
