drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
