Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
