i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You dont lie about slip and slides
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
