i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
