In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
