So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
