is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
