There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
