Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You dont lie about slip and slides
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
