I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
