1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
