I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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