you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
