question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
