I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
