so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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