I'm really into asian looking animals
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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