I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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