I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
