ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
