we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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