He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
