I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
