yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
