so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
