we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
