Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
People in love make me want to vomit
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
