I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
