when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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