Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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