I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
